01.02.01 - 00:40:10

i love the suffusing, electric blue of late twilight on a cold winter's day, some deep, depthless fringe of color so intense you think you can inhale it, that you might never stop inhaling.

color as intoxicant, yes? color as a drug, addictive, that fills your lungs and slithers into your bloodstream through the alveoli posing as oxygen, essential and unnoticed and transportive, that breathing blue.

and how can a word - those letters - b l u e - even hope to contain something as visceral and immediate and multifaceted as that single color, which is edged with the potential of stars and brilliant but shadowed, or brilliantly darkling, above a world lost to shadow, but still effervescently light, this sky. skyborn, skywon, skyscraping breaths, how i swallow blue and grow giddy with its suggestion of complicating lights and shadows.

so that's my new year's resolution. my new millennium resolution. (not the procrastination crap. i'll never get it together to manage that anyway.) to find something i love every single fucking day, even if it passes in a shadow of a second, even if it never lasts, even if i have adored it a million times before, even if it is clich�d or sentimental, even if it is sick and bizarre, even if it is geeky or girly or mundane or exotic, even if it is nothing, even if it is me.