01.14.01 - 10:29:16

If you're reading this, but you didn't read today's/yesterday's entry, click here and go read. It'll be better than this one, I'm sure.

Why is that one better than this one?

You are lying in bed, and not quite sure that every part of your body is yet appropriately attached to every other part. In any case, you have no desire to move again and chance it. An hour ago, you awoke to some gremlin striking two very large stones together in your frontal lobe, and an urgent need to get to the bathroom right now.

Used to obeying these impulses, you crawled out of bed and were hit in the head by a two-ton pickup truck, which smeared its way down your body, and finally - eschewing any single choice - settled into every single limb before you could say "Good Morning, Mr. Hangover."

You don't always have such unwelcome visitors, and immediately blame it on the stupid wine y'all were drinking. And if you could string the words together, you'd vow never to drink again. But words are tricky things, elusive when we need them most, so all you do is that which is necessary, incidentally grabbing a bottle of water and several advil on the way back.

You are stoic. You only take two, and collapse back into the bed which stubbornly spins, because you're still drunk, too. And you pass back into the dimly lit realms of unconsciousness...

...only to be awakened by the shrill shriek of the telephone. Which is - as such things must be, on such mornings - all the way across the room, and muleheaded and loud as a catfight in an echo chamber.

You *think* it might be someone other than it is, so you somehow contrive to vault half-naked outta bed, and grab the phone on its third ring. "........hello?"

"What's the longest animal you can come up with from the letters of the word inauguration?"

"...uuuuuuh," was that a trick question? "i dunno?"

"We were just sitting here reading Doonesbury blahblahblah," your mother rattles on. "Your father has what he thinks is the answer. I just thought you might want to play along." Or split your skull open, so it'd be a matched set with mine.

So, if your day started like that?

You probably would write a less interesting diary entry, too.