03.26.04 - 3:04 p.m.

yay!

i am. out of. that contract.

ha HA.

omg. that has been such a f'ing weight around my neck for the past two months. well, okay, i'm not actually out of it yet, but i finally put my foot down and put off a decision until... Monday!

so, heh. yeah, it's not really all that decisive. and it's nothing to celebrate. and it's really sad and annoying and irritating and fuck-what-notting that, after waiting for 2.5 months (yes! 2.5 months) and going through all the crap associated with applying for a loan and finding a house and scheduling an inspection (and rescheduling and rescheduling inspections) and hassling people about the damn electricity and everything else and not knowing where i'm going to be or when i can buy a new car or whether i can afford a vacation or even that cute new outfit i bought or whether its worth getting x y or z HERE ('cos i was thinking about dish network since it is cheaper than cable, but then i was thinking cable and cable-modem, but is dsl cheaper? except cable company is offering 24.99 cable connection for six months, so....) if i'm just going to have the ridiculous hassle of moving, but there it is, baybee. here i am.

uhm. what was that?

so, heh. STILL no freakin answer. i mean, i know it's a big decision. it IS. but it's a big decision for me too, and if you don't think you can do it, just say no! stop stringing me along! so, actually, except: i've been stringing myself along. such a foolish, foolish decision i made. anyway.

yeah. :)

completely inarticulate with half-baked pseudo-glee. so, since there still isn't an answer, i told my agent that i was done with all this unless they respond by monday. which isn't out-of-the-woods, but is i-finally-put-my-foot-down. i feel like such a bitch. i mean, but... heh. dt says i shouldn't feel guilty. i have to look out for myself. it's all about me, here. and he's right. but. that's so hard to do.

the last week of woe has ended. now watch me offer for the first crappy place i see. woo, bad judgment, me!