10.28.04 - 4:50 p.m.

Imagine me at dusk, the phone (blessedly on again, rescued from oblivion by a middle-aged man with a boyish face who looked fifteen years younger with his ballcap on to hide his thinning hair and a Verizon truck complete with a gasoline-powered cherrypicker that he employed to pull out and replace one of my wires. He, too, has DSL. He likes it; his fifteen-year-old daughter is online all the time. He doesn't like to call home and get a busy signal. Once he is home, he doesn't want to leave again. That's it, he says, perched on my couch, his well-padded laptop jacked into the main computer through my phone lines, trying to download another job) tucked between my ear and my shoulder - my earrings hurt, and there's a strange radius of not-quite-pain opening across my back and shoulders like a spiderweb. I've been on the phone too much lately. At home: comfortable, on my couch, dialing number after number "If the election were held today, who would you support?" and trying to convince the waverers, the conservatives, the supposedly-undecideds that a vote for Kerry is important, that we won't sink the ship, that hoardes of them people won't invade. I assure one woman that I, too, am pro-life. I'm a Catholic, I say, like John Kerry, and my faith is important to me, but I think the Republicans take us for granted. I don't think it can be changed, I think the Republicans want to count on our votes. It's a lie; I'm pro-choice. I marched against our last Bush president for women's rights, I was arrested at the Liberty Bell on July 4. I worked clinic defense against Operation Rescue - linked arms, human shield against a gauntlet of signs for women doing something that would break my heart to do. Important stuff, I think, on an individual level.

It's a lie and it isn't. I am pro-life. The Catholic Church's doctrine of life does not include only the issues that swing conservative Catholics to the Republican fold (as featured in the horribly partisan "Voters' Guide for Serious Catholics." The Church is opposed to the death penalty, in favor of social welfare programs, and propounds a very important doctrine of just war. There are important reasons for faithful, even conservative Catholics to support John Kerry in this election, but I don't rant about these issues to the women who hates Bush but thinks that John Kerry is a babykiller. I work on it; you can't throw everyone away, nor can you dismiss their believes. Not if you're really a progressive. Not if you want to win the election.

Later it's dark - and neither chilly nor warm, precisely. We're locked in this strange struggle between seasons. Every day is gray and warmish. Every night is gray and coolish. In between, there's rain and fog. Sometimes, at dusk, you might see the sun backlighting a few clouds pink-orange, like still-smoldering embers. It's dark and coolish, but not cold. The sky is spitting an unpleasant drizzling sort of mist, precipitation you can't quite see from the windows - so you skip the umbrella as unnecessary, and regret it as you rush down the sidewalk to track your way through the milling politicos who've come out to hear Rockefeller and McGraw speak at headquarters, who are decimating cold cut trays, but who aren't sitting down with endless lists and calling calling calling.

This sort of grass-roots dirty-hands politicking is unfortunate and necessary and probably good for my soul in some essential way: I'm forced to talk to people I wouldn't otherwise encounter. I'm forced to consider them rather than dismiss them. I'm forced to think about how we appeal to people and how we communicate with them, and I'm forced to be nice to people who are rude to me. The worst part of it is not - surprisingly - dealing with rude people, with people upset about babykillers or gay marriage, but asking busy people who support us to come volunteer. Everyone's reluctant to leave their dens, but they feel some vague sense of obligation. Some of us take it a step farther.

It's late, now, and trick-or-treat starts soon. I need to be home to hand out candy, I need to pull out the jack-o-lantern and park myself on the couch with a phone and a phone list. If people are interested, I'll hand out KE-04 stickers along with the candy. Anyway: even if you aren't in a swing state, it's still important to vote for Kerry. We need to do more than win the election. We need to win it in a landslide. If you think that there is no difference between the candidates, consider the stolen '00 election. Consider the 527 votes in Florida, and the 1/2 million more people who voted for Gore over Bush. Consider the 1100 US soldiers who have died in Iraq, the 8000 US soldiers who have been seriously wounded in Iraq. Consider the foreign workers who have been kidnapped, terrorized, and beheaded. Consider the 100,000 Iraqi civilians who have died in the conflict.

Damn straight there's a difference between the candidates. This isn't the time to opt out of the mainstream political process. Vote!