11.14.00 - 19:50:53

i am sitting here massaging my butt.

it is not as kinky as it sounds. i have the bizarre conviction that it makes my poor, injured hamstring feel a bit better. maybe i'm wrong. maybe i'm correct.

i would like to sleep right now. i've spent all afternoon reading a history of austrailia called the fatal shore. one would think that would inspire me to sleep, but it does not.

interesting tidbit - the first recorded words the aborigines spoke to the english settlers of the botany bay colony was warra warra which means go away.

obviously, the british didn't understand.

ouchies.

i'm wearing another pair of ribbed cotton pants. another day without a bra. will i ever be able to go back?

yes.

if my leg ever feels better i will go back. oh, and a pair of footsie slippers. they're knit material, with this fringe of black fur around the top. fake fur. no cute things died to make these. except possible young children in sweatshops in pakistan.

yes. i will do almost anything to feel better. i will squeeze myself into a corset and prance around in the medieval wench dress my mother made for me. i will take on extra work from work.

i will work all weekend. i will do interesting things. i will feel better. i swear to go i will feel better.

i really want to feel better.

i have negotiated a laying down position that is almost tenable. it consists of lying on my left side, with my injured leg stretched a bit behind me, and a folded pillow beneath my thigh. this obviates the problem with the position before, whereby i woke up with an aching knee.

from the strangeness of the position, of course, and the fact that i cannot freely turn around and flop over and manage my trademark burrowing.

i like to burrow.

i would like to seriously burrow right now. for several months.

why can't humans hibernate?

it would solve so many problems. i could put the world on hold and hibernate. anyone seeking contact with me would get an automated response - currently hibernating, life will look better in three months, look me up then - and congress would enact laws to protect our rights to hibernate. no one would be penalized for needing a vacation from the rest of the world and sleeping for three months.

i am going stir crazy.

lily tomlin has a very odd face, but i think her rather attractive, nonetheless. probably because i remember with great fondness the little girl in the big chair character she played on sesame street.

i like sesame street. sunny days, sweeping the clouuuuuuds away.

i'm ashamed that i don't remember any more of that song. i somehow doubt that i ever knew them, however. it's getting cold.

cold and dark, so early. i'm glad time is passing. because it is difficult to make time pass when you hurt.

but i also don't like just waiting for time to pass.

i've done so many things. so very many things.

i did not fall asleep until seven this morning. i slept until nine. i woke up. i called some people. including work. and told them i didn't think i could make it.

which was true. getting up was awful. if i hadn't had to pee, i probably would've stayed in bed. i am so sunk in semi-misery that i'm not sure if i'm getting better. i think i am. except getting up is awful. horrible. gut-wrenching.

well. i'm up now.

::gut-wrenched::

lovely.